I agree completely that it wasn’t bad…it was, actually, terrible mistake that I’ve made… being honest with you…
Now, let’s stop playing games… I am not in the mood nor am I capable in playing anything but truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Perhaps it is about me… I have no idea…not that smart I guess… but I am quite convinced that it is…it was... the only way to deal with the issue we had.
I allow the possibility that I’ve offended you by choosing other than us… I also allow the option that I didn’t feel like you’ve offered a real choice… perhaps I was wrong… it can easily happen…I don’t pretend to know everything or to own the truth. It was my call… you left me too much space to feel needed…and I made a call… I left for a “higher cause”, my higher cause, therefore the only higher cause I acknowledge as such… and as I’ve already said two weeks ago… my higher cause was feeling of usefulness. If it wasn’t you/us… it had to be something else… so I left in need for being useful.
Perhaps it was my mistake not being open enough in explaining what exactly I need… or you were shortsighted for overseeing the basic facts lying in front of you…
Do we have anything from it? No… we both know we don’t…
The funny thing is that it wasn’t all over… at least not until today… even when I left… it wasn’t over in my head… and if you had only felt it, it might have been completely different…
You don’t understand?
Let me explain… simplify, because you obviously need it…
Even yesterday… if you have just called/texted/wrote that you needed me… or anything similar… as easy as I have packed and left you… I would packed and leave everything here… forgetting how much I fought for certain goals, substituting one dream with another… but the essence had to remain the same…
You failed to notice that. You failed to read between the lines. You failed to see how much I needed you… Therefore, you will understand why it is over for me… now…
And why I have decided to write these semi-public letters which you will never read, instead of writing them to you, directly… you will understand, eventually, I guess…
Such a pure day… day without tears, one in a line…day without highs and lows… just one blank page, one straight line… to follow, to go…
Take care
xxx