The Deconstruction
Of Marriage and Family
By Christl Ruth Vonholdt, M.D.
Editor’s Note: Dr. Vonholdt is the
director of the German Institute for Youth and Society,
GIYS. The GIYS is the study and research
center of the Christian community OJC (Offensive
Junger Christen/Reichenberg Fellowship)
located in Reichel -sheim/Odw.,
The GIYS is involved in research,
publication and counseling on the topics of human
sexuality, male and female identity
formation, sexuality and culture, and marriage
and the family.
It should go without saying that an open
society must be tolerant towards different lifestyles
among adults. However, the issue has long
ceased to be that of tolerance, but of the
dissolution of marriage bonds and family
ties. Today’s boost in social status for
homosexuality must be seen in conne ction
with the social and sociopolitical tendencies
towards the deconstruction and complete
redefin ition of marriage and family and the
dismantling and redesign of genders and
generations.
The Deconstruction Of Genders
In recent years there was an increasing
shift away from man and woman as basic
anthropological realities, towards
heterosexual and homosexual identities which supposedly
exist on an equal level. However, this,
too, has now become ou tmoded. For quite a while now German universities no
longer offer just “Gay -Lesbian Studies”, but “Queer Studies”.
“Queer” theories deny that humankind
should fall into two gender categories. 1 Instead of
acknowledging mutually complementary
manhood and womanhood, such theories hold that
there are a variety of different genders
which are all on a par with each other: heterosexuals,
homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, tran
sgender sexuals, intersexuals and cross -dressers, to name but a few.2
The
The declared aim of the lecture series is
to “counter hetero -normativity … with something
different”. The latest publication of the
series gave the fo llowing definition of the word
“queer”: “As a term in the political
battle, queer stands against hetero-normativity, against the distinction
of merely two genders and against patriarchal stru ctures.”3
At the same time, the new genders are to
be no rigid “pigeon holes”. Rather, it is to be a
matter not just of “destabilizing the
two-gender structure”, but of “removing the lack of
ambiguity of gender and of sexuality”. One
suggestion is to aim for the “d iversification of
genders” and therefore to abolish
completely any references to gender as a c ategory in legal
documents (e.g. in ID cards). 4
When requested to draft an official
statement on the German Transsexuality Act, a number of
leading sexologists proposed that it
should be possible for people to change their registered
personal status (e.g. from “male” to
“female” in an ID card) if a person feels transsexual,
irrespective of whether a sex change
operation has taken place. A change in personal status
and name should be subject to no more than
a medical report and the person’s statement that
their “perceived gender membership” does
not match their “biological gender”. 5
Within the EU the most prominent group of
gay lobbyists is the International Lesbian and
Gay Association (ILGA), who have long
demanded complete legal and financial equality
between homosexual, bisexual, transsexual
and heter osexual lifestyles. Many of their
demands have been met already. In the
European Charter of Human Rights, for example, they have succeeded in achieving
a “ban on discrimination for sexual orientation”. What makes this so
controversial is that, in 1994, ILGA was no longer allowed the status of an NGO
(a non-governmental organization), on the grounds that three paedosexual groups
belonged to it on a par with all the others. It was only upon pressure from the
UN that these groups were excluded in 1994.6 In Germany,
paedophiles continued to be part of the Federal Ass ociation of Homosexuals
until 1997.7
The Deconstruction Of Gender Does Not Stop
At Children
Especially during a person’s youth, their
sexual orienta tion is very flexible and pliable.
Scientists work on the assumption that
sexual orie ntation is acquired through a complex and
by no means irreversible developmental
process that involves a variety of factors. A survey
among over 34,000 school children in the
year-old respondents were unsure about
their sexuality and their sexual orientation. 8 (In
contrast: representative studies have
shown that among the adult population 2.8% of men and
1.4% of women describe themselves as
homosexual.9) The question therefore remains: what
kind of lifestyle do we present to young
people as a model?
Although there is no evidence whatever,
the view is increasingly propagated among the
general public as well as in schools and
nur sery schools that a person’s sexual orientation is
settled at an early stage, that it is
irreversible and, above all, that all sexual orientations are
equally worth striving for.
For example, the government of the German
state of Schleswig -
of children’s and young people’s books in
which homosexual lifestyles are presented as
models for children from the age of 3. 10 These books can be borrowed free of charge by
schools and nursery schools. Nursery
school books such as “Daddy’s R oommate”11 are
becoming more and more widespread,
depicting a homosexual lifestyle as being on a par with a heterosexual marriage
and indeed as a d esirable model.
The official facts-of-life brochure
published by the German state of Schleswig -
emphasizes the equal value of homosexual,
bisexual, tran ssexual and heterosexual lifestyles. 12
The GLEE project13, co-financed by the EU, trains teachers at seminars in conveying
to
children the equal value of male/female
rel ationships and sexual male/male or female/female
relationships. The book rejects any
“heterosexist” approach as discriminatory. A ccording to
the GLEE project, anybody who gives a
heterosexual relationship or marriage any superiority
over any other type of sexual relationship
is a “heterose xist”.
The Ministry for Women, Youth, Family and
Health of the German state of
gay/lesbian group with the aim of
portraying a homosexual lifestyle as exe mplary and
desirable.14
However, while there is evidence that men
and women (throughout their life!) are capable of
reducing their homosexual tendencies and
that, in many cases, they can experience a change
from a homosexual orientation over to a
heterosexual orientation if they strive to do so,15 this
is not mentioned in any of the projects or
brochures. The authors are silent on the fact that a
“homosexual identity” is not innate, 16 that change is possible and that young people are
therefore able to choose among a variety
of ways in which to handle their homosexual
feelings.
Instead, a “feeling of being different”
and homo -erotic tendencies are interpreted entirely as
signs of a gay or lesbian identity.
Scientific evidence suggests, however, that there are other
patterns of interpretation for such
feelings, whereby the future is seen as basically open –ended and an
opportunity is allowed for development along heterosexual lines. 17
Neither do these facts-of-life brochures
present any discussion of the many rece nt studies
which show so clearly that there is a
significantly higher proportion of psychological
problems among men and women with
homosexual lifestyles than among those with
heterosexual lifestyles.18 Moreover, only inadequate warnings are presented abou t the
significantly higher rate of sexually
transmitted diseases among men with homosexual or
bisexual behaviour and about the fact that
this rate is currently on the i ncrease.19
One must welcome the desire to convey
uncond itional acceptance and loving ca re towards
young people who “feel different” and who
have homo -erotic tendencies. However, accepting a person is not the same as
the approval of homosexual or bisexual behaviour. Also, what is taught is not
merely tolerance towards different lifestyles, bu t the equal value and the
levelling of all sexual lifestyles.
Many young people feel a measure of
insecurity about their sexual identity and are rather
apprehensive about encounters with the
opposite sex. Such youngsters are now receiving a
new “mental map” from early childhood
onwards: what is pr esented to them as a desirable
model is no longer marriage between man
and woman and thus a family, but other sexual
lifestyles on the same level. This new
“mental map” can significantly impair the heterosexual
development of a young person and even
block it altogether. It can only add to the diffusion
of identities in the next generation and
in fact make it more difficult for youn gsters to find
their true identities.
The Dissociation Of Family From Marriage
If one observes developments from a
strategic standpoint, what initially took place was a
dissociation of “marriage and family” so
that, subsequently, “family” and “marriage” could be viewed as totally separate
phenomena. This alone made it possible to get to a point where,
nowadays, nearly everyone talks of “same
-sex marriages”. Although the new law, passed by
the German government, is not called a
“Marriage Act” but a “Life Partnership Act”, “gay
politicians” had been “persistently … pressurizing
for an exact copy of marriage”20
(accordingly to the
others). A number of leading legal e
xperts in
against those with a homosexual lifestyle.
It is disputed that the basic structure of marriage
requires two different genders as an a
nthropological (and not just a sociological) reality.
Although the German Constitution still
specifies marriage b etween man and woman - at least
formally - as the only model, there are
increasing demands that say: “More and more people
live as heterosexuals, as homosexuals or
as bisexuals, as couples, in groups or on their own.
… The state must give equal legal and
financial treatment to all lifestyles among adults.” 22
What can be regarded as the latest climax
in the dismantling policy of marriage and fami ly is
an attempt by the German Green Party in
the state of Schleswig -
Greens conducted a virtual party
convention in which a proposal was put forward to change
Article 6 Para. 1 of the German Constitution.
The original wording is : “Marriage and the
family are under the special protection of
state regulations.” According to the Green Party
proposal, this is to be replaced by:
“Children and the family are under the special protection of state regulations.”
This would sever the link between marriage and family. As a result, the
procreation of new life, too, would be
dise ngaged from the relationship between man and
woman and from the creative state of
tension b etween the two. It would effectively call into
question the whole concept of motherhood
and fatherhood.
Eliminating The Procreation Of New Life
From The Creative Tension Between Genders
Reproduction scientists, gay/lesbian
groups and others are advocating the establishment of
sperm banks and free access to such banks
for couples , regardless of whether they are in a
homosexual or heterosexual relationship.
They are also suppor ting the donation of human
eggs and surrogate motherhood.
The Lesbian and Gay Association in
and gay couples with children have a right
to full re cognition as families. Discrimination
against lesbian and gay families must come
to an end. They must be put on an equal level in
legislation on tax, on social benefit and
on names. (…) So far women in
free access to sperm banks outside of
marriage. This is discriminatory. The right to set up a
family must apply to everyone.” 23
In 2001 a brochure was published by the
Senate of the German state of
“Rainbow Families - When Parents are
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transsexual”. In this
brochure, the Senate demands equal rights
for parents living in le sbian, gay, bisexual and
transsexual relationships,24 asserting that “equal adoption rights are the yardstick for
measuring the equality of lesbians and
gays…”25
As early as 1996 the Berlin Senate made a
number of prescriptive recommendations about therearing of children by couples
living in homosexual partnerships. 26 To provide
evidence for the alleged harmlessness of such an environment for c hildren, the
Senate referred to a variety of studies. However, none of these studies
provides ev idence that a homosexual partnership is harmless for children, and
the authors fail to mention negative effects on children living in homosexual
households.27 No mention is made of the many studies
that provide evidence for the significant disadvantages that are suffered by
children who grow up, for instance, withouta father.28
In
Without being noticed by the general
public, a complete reinterpretation of language is
currently taking place. Yet if a society
calls something ma rriage that is not and refers to
something as a family that cannot be a
family, it imposes an added burden on its children and
deprives them of their right to an origin
- their right to have a mother and father.
Under the pretext of building up families,
the family is in fact being destroyed, and so is its
integration into the sequence of
generations. 30
The Deconstruction Of Generations
Dr. Helmut Graupner is a member of ILGA-Europe
and a leading representative of the
Austrian gay movement. In 2002 he fought a
case in the European Court of Human Rights
wherein the age of consent for homosexual
activ ities between adults and young people should be reduced to 14 in
The current legal policy spokesman of the
German Green Party demanded as early as 1988:
“The cementing of a sexually repressive
climate… can only be prevented by a mobilization of the gay movement for
equality between homo - and heterosexuality which, unlike
paedosexuality, is totally unproblematic.
Th e achieving of this is a prerequisite for the future
battle to ensure at least the partial
decriminalisation of paed osexuality.”32
Today, therefore, we are faced with the
fact that not only gender membership, but indeed the
difference between generations is being
denied, with the resulting destruction of a sheltered
environment required by children.
An
Do we still have enough courage and
conviction to present to our children and youngsters the
concepts of masculinity and femininity,
maleness and femaleness as a dual structure of
humanity where man and woman are
complementary, in need of one another, directed
towards each other and in which they form
the basis for the future - a dual structure that is
visibly expressed in the cultural estate
of marriage?
It is so important that there should be
peace b etween the genders and the generations. But how can it be achieved if
we sever the link between marriage and family, and if children no longer experience
this peace lived out between mother and father in everyday life? The world view
of our children will be determined by our success or failure in achieving this
peace.
Throughout the history of mankind, in all
cultures and religions, the term marriage has only
ever been applied to the liaison between a
man and a woman who, in principle, are prepared
to give birth to children.
If “marriage” today is to be a matter of
either a heterosexual or homosexual couple living
together and “family” simply a matter of
children living t ogether with one or more adults,
then we are undermining a significant
pillar of the very basis of our society. The levelling of
gender differences and of the creative
tension between man and woman as well as the denial
of the sequence of generations and the
differences between them amounts to the termination
of a fundamental anthropological consensus
and eventually the destruction of our civilization.
We need a new “alliance for marriage and
family” - for the sake of the next generation.
Notes:
1 Heidel, U. et al., Jenseits der
Geschlechtergrenzen,
2001.
2 Heidel, U., op.cit., p. 19.
3 Heidel, U., op.cit., p. 19.
4 Heidel, U., op.cit., pp. 346ff.
5 Becker, P. et al., “Stellungnahme zur
Anfrage des Bundesministeriums des Inne rn vom 11.
Dezember 2000 zur Revision des
Transsexuellengesetzes”, in Zeitschrift für Sexualforschung,
issue 3, 2001, pp. 258-268.
6 CultureFacts, February 7, 2002,
published by FRC,
7 See Braun, J., Schlußwort, in: JZ
23, 2002, p. 295.
8 Remafedi, G. et al, “Demography of
Sexual Orientation in Adolescents”, in: Pediatrics, vol.
89, no. 4, 1992, pp. 714-721.
9 Robert T. Michael, John H. Gagnon,
Edward O. Lauman and Gina Kolata: Sex in
A Definitive Survey, NY Warner Books,
Eurogay-Emnid Study 2001, “Schwules Leben
in Deutschland”, press releases, p. 17.
10 Gleichgeschlechtliche Lebensweisen,
Bücherverzeichnis, published by Ministerium für
Justiz, Frauen, Jugend und Familie
[Ministry for Justice, Women, Youth and Family],
Schleswig-Holstein, 2001.
11 Willhoite, Michael: Daddy’s Roommate.
Alyson Publications 1991 (deutsch: Papa’s
12 Sexuelle Orientierung. Thema für die
Jugendhilfe, published by Ministerium für Frauen,
Jugend, Wohnungs- und Städtebau [Ministry
for Women, Youth, Housing and Urban
Construction], Schleswig-Holstein, Kiel 2000.
13 “GLEE Project”,
http://glee.oulus.fi/project.html.
14 See Amtsblatt des Ministeriums für
Schule, Wissenschaft und Forschung des Landes
Nordrhein-Westfalen [Ministry for Schools, Science and
Research of the state of
15 See Spitzer, R. “New Study on Sexual
Reorientation Therapies” in: Bulletin, No. 2,
Autumn 2001, German Institute for Youth
and Society, Postfach 1220, D -64382
Reichelsheim, email: institute@ojc.de.
16 For instance: Da fiel ich aus allen
Wolken - Informationen für Eltern homosexueller
Kinder, published by Ministerium für Frauen, Jugend, Wohnungs -
und Städtebau [Ministry
for Women, Youth, Housing and Urban
Construction], Schleswig -Holstein,
17 See Nicolosi, J: Reparative Therapy
of Male Homose xuality - A New Clinical Approach,
Jason Aronson, Northvale 1991; Nicolosi,
J.: Healing Homosexuality, Jason Aronson,
Northvale, 1993.
18 Fergusson, D.M. “Is sexual orientation
related to mental health problems and suicidality in
young people?”, Arch. Gen. Psychiatry,
vol. 56, Oct. 1999, S. 876-880; Sandfort, T. et al.,
“Same-Sex Sexual Behavior and Psychiatric
Disorders: Findings from the
Health Survey and Incidence Study
(NEMESIS)”, Arch. Gen. Psychiatry 58, 2001, S. 85-91;
O’Leary, D., “Why the Homosexual Lifestyle
offers No Model for Children”, Bulletin, No. 3,
Spring 2002, German Institute for Youth
and Society, Postfach 1220, D -64382 Reichelsheim,
email: institute@ojc.de.
19 Dannecker, M., “Erosion der
HIV-Prävention?” In: Zeitschrift für Sexualforschung, 15th
year., issue 1, 2002, pp. 58-64, and, more
recently: “Der harte Schanker kehrt nach
zurück”, Frankfurter Rundschau 17.5.2002:
The number of syphillis sufferers has quadrupled
within a year. 90% of those affected are
homosexually active men.
20 “Mit heißer Nadel - Die Hamburger
Familienrechtsexpertin Eva Marie von Münch über
die Verfassungsklage der Länder Bayern und
Sachsen gegen die Homo -Ehe”, Der Spiegel 28,
2001, p. 40.
21 Braun, J., Ehe und Familie am
Scheideweg, Eine Kritik des sogenannten
Lebenspartnerschaftsgesetzes, S. Roderer Verlag, Regensburg 2002.
22 Christina Schenk (PDS), member of the
German Parliament, during a consultation on the
Life Partnership Act on July 7, 2000,
quoted by Braun, J., op.cit., p. 21.
23 Press release of February 25, 2002,
http://www.lsvd.de.
24 “Regenbogenfamilien - Wenn Eltern
lesbisch, schwul, bi - oder transsexuell sind”,
published by Senatsverwaltung für Arbeit,
Soziales und Frauen (Senate Administration for
Labour, Social Affairs and Women), Berlin
2001.
25 “Regenbogenfamilien ...”, op.cit. p.
27.
26
www.sensjs.berlin.de/familie/gleichg/Doku16/start.htm.
27 For instance: Sarantakos, S.: “Children
in three contexts”, Chidren
1996, pp. 23-31.
28 For instance Franz, M. et al.: “Wenn
der Vater fehlt. Epidemiologische Befunde zur
Bedeutung früher Abwesenheit des Vaters
für die psychische Gesundheit im späteren Leben”,
Zeitschrift für Psychosomatische Medizin 45, 1999, pp. 260-278.
29 CultureFacts, April 18, 2002
published by FRC,
30 See Amendt, G., “Die Bedeutung der
Familie - wie sie begründen?”,www.igg.uni -
bremen.de.
31 Graupner, H., “Love vs. Abuse:
Crossgenerational Sexual Relations of Minors: A Gay
Rights Issue?” in: Journal of
Homosexuality, vol. 37, no. 4, 1999, pp. 203-215.
32 Beck, V., “Das Strafrecht ändern?”, in
A. Leopardi: Der pädosexuelle
1988, p. 268.
© 2002 Dr. Christl Ruth Vonholdt
Deutsches Institut für Jugend und
Gesellschaft – German Institute for Youth and Society
64382 Reichelsheim
www.dijg.de
institute@dijg.de