This night, I pray

For the day I know

You won’t follow me anymore

The day you will leave me

Don’t love me

With you

I’m between heaven and hell

Am I an angel or demon?

I don’t know

You threw me in that purgatory

A long time ago

Will God save me

Or is it the devil

Who will love me?

Broken hearts, bloody baths,

taking the pain away is harder than it seems.

Where was the time?

Where there was peace, and the heart felt full,

where was the time?

Where the love was still alive

where nothing could go worng.

It seems times have changed.

The heart with hurt , the pain it feels.

Everyday wishing to go back ,

but knowing it never will.

The tears i cry will always be for you,

nothing matterd to me untill u came along in my life.

But life moves on living with a heart coverd up with stone.

The pain will never be forgotten.

The heart will never be the same again.

Once broken never healed.

Low things have turned my mind to things low.

Yet I am still here, I cannot leave yet.

Although I give much of myself, although Regret you?

No, I have little regret.

Days without you are still spend in a daze,

Love lies in my heart for you, my love.

Rays of the sun do not make my eyes raise

Above all my dreams, I hold you above.

You came back at last, I knew it was you.

Shaking my heart as your heart was shaking,

True I have been (as your words were all true)

Aching for you as your being was aching.

More of me lives because you give me more.

For you I would die, yet you I live for.

Silenced voices at my ear.

Whispering soft things I should never hear.

As to who you are I will never know,

But I have no Desire to make you go.

Such soft words said with ease

It is my Breath that you will cease.

Ease me from my Mental Pain,

Help bring me from my Suffering Shame.

Release me from my Depressing cage.

Supress my deafening Rage.

My bleeding Heart you shall Heal...

The Broken Blackened Soul you will seal...

Whisper to me once again,

Your soft voice is my Mind's Mend,

Your Words cause my Delusion

But those Whispers create my Illusion.

...Only if it were real...

My Illusion was just an artificial Light in my Darkness....

I wish I could go to heaven

and at least leave this world.

I haven't commited the sins of seven,

please lord take my soul.

I shall wait for death to come

I won't commit suicide.

But the chances are slim to none,

I'll stay put and put my worries aside.

I wish not to go to hell,

I haven't done anything wrong.

I've got no drugs to sell,

Please, I've been waiting this long.

I fell a coldness sweep my soul

Has death come for me already?

I close my eyes and relax me whole

A tear drops my eyes and i hold steady.

I wake up in fright

And see you by my side.

With you in my sight, my love,

Maybe I'll stay a while.

There is no other love that can compare

To the love you gave every day.

And now I can only love you in memory

Because now you've gone away.

You fought the fight and gave your everything.

You stood proud and gave your all.

And no matter the sorrows, you kept on giving.

Fighting strong and standing tall.

Through all the pain, I won't forget

Everything you used to say and do.

And even though you are gone,

 I'll keep on loving you.

Some will say this war's so wrong

And some will never understand why.

But I believed in you despite it all

And now we have to say goodbye.

The love you gave keeps going strong.

It grows stronger every day.

It is your love I will carry with me forever

Even after you have gone away.

Through all the pain, I won't forget

Everything you used to say and do.

And even though you are gone,

I'll keep on loving you.

I walk on this dreamers road,

running through my mind,

Fish fly up in the sky,

A fawn dances with golden heels,

Stars lurk behind my eyes,

Sugardrops rain from clouded skies.

Im falling down a dark hole;

Flying clocks surround me.

White rabbit goes through wooden door,

Swimming through heavy tears,

Float to a far off shore.

I land on glitter beaches,

Trees of glass with diamond leaves.

Pink bunnies dance and sing;

A treacherous tune full of death and doom,

They sprinkle sand upon my face,

Soon I wake

In this world of shadows and deception

there is much that sinks inside the darkness

there is that we lose and that we struggle.

But during these times, its then we must confess

That even in darkness, it is not all bad

the dark is just the absence of light.

Thus we must not always strive to be sad

It is hope that we work with the dark

to find what light or flicker of dreams

have in our minds tried to embark

to set sail the upon the victory streams.

While rhyme and poems can give some light

and possibly keep the fear from seeping

there is one thing we find for certain:

we can find a dream worth keeping.

Everyday I wake up,

I put on a mask.

I try to hide my true self,

From my evil past.

I hide and run,

Away from you and try to get away.

But every time I try to run,

My world turns all shades of gray.

The mask I wear every day,

Is something I have made.

To hide myself from the pain.

I feel every day.

The mask I made from the pain,

Is all falling apart.

And no matter what I try to do,

You can see my heart.

 I’m sorry if you can see the scars,

I have accumulated.

But if you live in my life,

You’d feel despair and hated.

You’d feel like you want to die,

And leave with out a trace.

You’d want to be left alone,

And you’d want to be replaced.

So this is why the mask is on,

Every second of the day.

Because no matter what I do.

It’ll never be okay.

The few friends that I have,

Will always be true.

I know they’ll never turn away,

And they’ll always see it through.

I see you

Hiding there

Under that mask

That I used to wear

Well you might as well just take it off

Because i'm starting see through it

And soon you'll find

That the mask doesn't fit

Because while you hide

Your problems continue growing

That mask is slowly becoming smaller

And bits of you are showing

Trust me on this

What i say is true

I would know

I've worn that mask too

So just be yourself

Don't hide from me

Just show me the person

I'm beginning to see...

I piece things together one by one,

filling in the blanks for you,

so I can teach you who I am.

I feel like you know me…

but the truth is nobody does, not even me.

I can trust and hope all I want,

but the real truth is I need to build trust and hope in reality…

not a dream.

Can’t I just keep my shallow end,

instead of creating a deeper one?

Why can’t my mind stop,

why must it torture itself as of it enjoys it.

Maybe I feel there’s more than there is,

maybe my dreams are as simple as my juvenile ones,

with the simplicity of my shallow mind.

One day I’ll know, one day I’ll stop dreaming…

and on that day I’ll know that one day exists.

The heat, It rises.

The destruction is complete,

And the smoke, it arises.

The horror and fear,

Drift on the breeze.

The scene is unclear,

As the smog has reached far trees.

A cool breeze blows,

As fire trucks rush to place.

A cooling rain flows,

Adding to the terrible grace.

Now it is done,

And the terror is over.

The race has been run,

And found was cover.

But like any dreamer knows,

The spirit lives on.

Like crimson on a rose,

Though faded, it is never gone.

I see it in dreams,

Haunting me.

I hear their screams,

And so I plea,

Spirit of Fire, please... Leave me be...

These sightless eyes see so much pain;

Fear and death, blood falls like rain;

I dream of peace, you dream of me;

A fleeting dream of destiny.

On this field, this field of death;

I fall away with every breath;

My ragged heartbeat barely a sound;

This misery that knows no bounds.

Shadows close in all around;

Darkness shot through sky to ground;

No birds sing, the air is still;

There is no wind, but so much chill.

I dream to be with you once more;

My muscles ache, my paws so sore;

In this world of lies, one thing is true;

I so wish to be back with you.

When all the stars in the night sky are gone,

I will lay myself down forever - to sleep

under the cool glow of a moon.

Having seen so many moons, I wonder

what dreams lay beyond; in the deep.

I still don’t know, but I’ll find out soon.

In this world, I am weary, tired and alone;

forever since I’ve seen the sun and all I’ve

left are these stars - to guide me.

So when they do fade out into the night

and I am without a single one, then so

shall I fade out, so shall I be free.

Don’t know why I’m feeling like this

There isn’t a reason I know that exists

It’s a listlessness and I feel like I’m caged

There’s a terrible calm and a terrible rage.

I keep on looking out windows and looking around

To find what I know can never be found

The nothing that’s missing, the something that’s not

The piece of myself that I think I forgot.

I’m searching for something I never wanted before

I don’t know what it is, or what it is for

But regardless I’m looking and I’ll search til I find

The reason I feel I am losing my mind.

Leave me alone

Beneath the moonlight

Just to blind me with your sunshine

In the very next moment.

Leave me alone

In the rain

Only to chase away the clouds

Coming up above my head.

Leave me alone

With the Winter's coldness inside my heart

To burn me with your fire

Before I freeze to death.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone

All alone

With this gap in my heart

So I can finally forget

How much I love you.

Leave me alone.

The light seeps from the darkness

Slowly the orb becomes a beacon of light

Then diminishes back into the dark pits of my mind

I keep on thinking.

You won't leave me alone.

Just go!!!

Get out of my head!

I hate the thought of you.

I don't want you here.

You are the light, the small flicker I turn to in times of need.

Save me.

Love me.

Taste me.

Keep me.

Stay with me.

Embrace me.

Kiss me.

Caress me.

Touch me.

Keep me near to you, but go away.

Please, leave my mind.

I'm torn and confused

I don't have anyone to turn to

But I turn to you always!

I want to cry out in agony

Because the thought of you brings back

Memories of what we used to have.

Breathe me in.

Break my heart.

Crawl inside my head.

Do anything to erase the memory of you

I still have within me.

Watch me bend over and cry,

Your comfort means nothing.

My mind and eyes glaze over,

And my mouth starts frothing.

My hair cracks and flutters,

My hands grab onto a chair for dear life.

Let me die now,

Let me grab hold of a knife.

Watch my body fall,

Then you'll regret

Everything you said to me,

You teenage dimwit.

This painful agony

Rips through my weak body;

This painful agony

Pulses through my veins;

This painful agony

You don't understand;

This painful agony

I never asked for.

My mind screams in agony

at this mind numbing pain

that's going on in my head

i wanna scream but i can't

my voice is shot

my body is tortured

by this soul destroying pain

that resides within my spirit

i wish to shake it off but i can't

my body is frozen in time

my heart is pounding in agony

due to the uncomprehensive tearing

that is evident in my insides

i could speak it out but i can't

my mind doesn't remember the words

my hands are itching to type the words

to explain how bad this really feels

the indescribable intensity

i should express myself but i can't

my slit wrists won't let me type

I’m going to play pretend,

So that I can pretend that I never knew you.

You tell me that I’m losing everything,

But all I’m losing is the way you’ve used me.

I don’t know you.

Who are… you?

Quit acting like you know me ‘cause,

I don’t know you.

You weren’t there when I needed you,

And you try to make me do what I don’t wanna do.

So don’t try to tell me who I am,

Because I really never knew you.